Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
