Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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