Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
