all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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