hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
