Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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