ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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