There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
