Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
