Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize