We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
