we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
