brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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