I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
