So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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