We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
