Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
