Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
