I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
