Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
