Someone shit on the floor
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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