cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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