This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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