Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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