Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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