his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
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I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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