no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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