He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
