I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
