trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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