the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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