worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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