he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
