maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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