you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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