Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Randomize
