Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
