we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
