Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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