We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
