Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize