forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
