Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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