And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
