dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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