watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
