I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
