rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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