carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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