Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
