Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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