you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
