I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
