I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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