If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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