i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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