we have officially lost it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize