As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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