She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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